“One of the biggest things that I have learned is that I don’t always have to be right.” ~Jeffrey Swartz
“Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!” ~Stephen Covey
My beloved country, Kenya is facing an unprecedented situation never seen before. There is so much hate going on currently and the country seems to be divided down in the middle. Friends have turned against friend and tribes against tribes. We held our general elections in August this year, which was later, annulled by the Supreme Court. Since then there has been so much division amongst people and this has been a cause of concern. A repeat of the presidential election has been slotted for 26th October 2017 and one of the main competitors has pulled out.
I am here asking myself a lot of questions especially if it is possible to have a win-win situation in this current scenario. How will Kenya fare beyond this upcoming election? What will be the citizen’s space and voice in all this?
Sometimes when you win, you lose. A wise lesson is in learning that the shortest route to victory may be a trap that can cause us to lose more than we gain. What is the importance of winning an argument with your friend or colleague, when at the end of the day you part ways completely because of an argument? What will make you good? Better to lose that argument and gain to be with your friend!
Sometimes your losing can be like a gift to a child or a friend that allows them to experience joy and confidence because of victory. When you play with a child sometimes you give her a chance to win, and you lose for the happiness of the child. We gain by seeing the child or our loved one happy.
Everyday life is filled with potential win/lose situations such as disagreements, misunderstandings, or when more than one person needs the same thing. When in conflict, work to satisfy the others involved as well as yourself for a better and more lasting result.
We agree to lose a disagreement to build a relationship. Sometimes, however, it’s even better to enjoy the victories of others, especially those we care about. The real winners in life are persons who have not only succeeded in their own efforts but were able to look beyond themselves and help others win as well. The way to true happiness is win-win, everyone benefiting from any particular interaction. No person is less or more than the other. Just plain ‘feel good’ connection with each party getting what they want out of life.
This is where the true ‘juice’ in life is. We benefit from our efforts, but we have benefited others as well. Mutual benefit builds relationships and it is in relationships where the real joyful living comes in. Some of you might scoff at this line of thinking but I have found that win-win works.
Today create win-win situations between you and everyone you associate with. Really look at it from both perspectives and see if you can come up with a few win-wins that work for everyone involved. Business or pleasure, mutual benefits pave the way to solid relationships, not just for today, but also for the long term.
– Bikundo Onyari
Bikundo is a self taught social entrepreneur, based in Nairobi, Kenya. He is a Bridge2Success mentor and coach for upward mobile young professionals who are ambitious, smart, go-getters and high achievers who are keen to create a dynamic and inspiring life. Bikundo feels purposeful working with people to realize and nurture their abilities. Apart from Kenya, he has worked in a variety of locations including Rwanda, Uganda, the Netherlands, Morocco and Mexico. You can reach him on Twitter @BikundoOnyari.