If life were a friend, I’d question her loyalty. She has this way about her; this annoying and inconvenient need to teach lessons you didn’t even ask to learn. Then she disguises them as this thing they call “trials and tribulations.” So you trick yourself into thinking there’s some reason beyond reasoning that you are going through said trial and by force of habit, make yourself learn something of importance.
Notice I called this unwanted life lesson annoying for a reason: life tends to be right in her teaching. By your journey’s end, there is always an epiphany accompanied by a battle scar. While we feel motivated to ask the proverbial “why me?”, our inner self immediately spits back “why not you?” It’s incredibly maddening because your inner self can actually be bold enough to answer the “why me?” and leave you sitting there all dressed up with no pity party to attend.
I took a trip with my family to the Dominican Republic on November 8th and I enjoyed the most incredibly beautiful beaches. I floated in the ocean as though I were a part of the waters; I experienced the peace I’d been seeking and the joy and meaning in life that I knew was there but, until that moment, seemed to elude me. Days before the trip I received word that the school district I’d been applying to since January had finally found a place for me. I’d found a study partner for my boards and was on track to finish my certification before 2015. Everything was finally looking up!
On one of the most tranquil days, while listening to the waves break on the shore, I fell asleep. When I awoke, I noticed my dad and the guy that hooked us up with our zip-lining excursion on the beach talking and looking at me from time to time. But what I don’t remember is what they were saying. I went to lie back down and then I felt the sharpest pain in my face and on my tongue and I knew immediately. I’d had a seizure. You have got to be kidding me! I only had four days until I could drive again. I was finally going to be seizure-free for six months. I had even planned a dinner to celebrate with my friends when I got back stateside. Immediately I became angry. I was now pissed at God. Why bring me all the way to paradise and put me back in hell? It didn’t seem fair. All the joy I felt disappeared with the tide that day.
I honestly have no clue why things happen the way they do in my life. It would be easy to cry and surrender and think that the universe has some eternal fight with me. To be completely transparent, it does feel that way sometimes. On the other side, I feel like God has some vested interest in me that makes me special. I feel like the universe knows that no matter what she throws, there is something in me that just doesn’t understand what it means to quit.
I find it funny, the career that I’m heading toward is a career working with special education and special needs children. The universe has directed me toward helping young children who are facing what I’m facing now. As I’m studying for the boards, I’m noticing that the lessons that life threw my way are helping me to understand my students in a way that no other educator can. When they pick up on that, there is a trust that they have for me that they verbalize. They want hugs. They come up to me with smiles. The same students that cussed me out initially now see something in me that relates to them. They see something in me that truly cares and it helps them to want to do their best.
I challenge you to see yourself the way life sees you. Your journey was given to you because you have a perspective that is unique. Your experience is invaluable to the world. Your journey has never been about just you.
Aria is a caring and sensitive spirit. She has been gifted with a journey unlike most and is in the process of learning and growing and healing. It is her desire that you take from this article what you need to continue your journey!