JL Yoga

 


Question: Do late Yoga Class students bother you?


JL Yoga answers:

I give 20 lashes of the whip for every minute late.

If more than 10 minutes late then you can place your mat on the sidewalk outside and peak through the window.

That’s on days I feel nice.

Other times late people will have to go out to the middle of the street and hold tree pose on the median line of the street. If they get hit by a car then that is Karma and the Yoga Gods telling them to be on time. If they don’t get hit then their tardiness is justified by the Old Gods and the New Gods. Thus it is out of my hands.

If they are about to get hit by a car but can do a backflip into the air then land in a handstand press on top of the car, then push off from there into another flip and land back in tree pose at the very same spot….

Then they are a candidate for my teacher training.

If they ignite the Kundalini while in tree pose and shoot a rainbow ray of destruction from their Ajna chakra to shield off any oncoming traffic….well then they can teach.

My work is done.


-Justin Linderman

Justin is a self-employed all around average good guy. (The good part is up for debate) He enjoys spending his time truth seeking, being a skeptic, and finding the humor in the aspects of yogaland that are in need of change. Sometimes accused of being a Social Justice Warrior other times just an a**hole. Could claim to be a yoga teacher but isn’t actively teaching because truth seeking and being a skeptic is more fun. Probably a court jester in a past life. Will never be accused of not sayin’ something. May the force be with you. Winter is coming.


Be first to comment